Sunday, June 21, 2009

Honor Him Today

When God Created Fathers
by Erma Bombeck

When the good Lord was creating fathers, He started with a tall frame. A female angel nearby said, "What kind of father is that? If you're going to make children so close to the ground, why have you put fathers up so high? He won't be able to shoot marbles without kneeling, tuck a child in bed without bending or even kiss a child without a lot of stooping. And God smiled and said, "Yes, but if I make him childsize, who would children have to look up to?"

And when God made a father's hands, they were large and sinewy. The angel shook her head sadly and said, "Large hands are clumsy. They can't manage diaper pins, small buttons, rubber bands on ponytails or even remove splinters caused by baseball bats." And God smiled and said, "I know, but they're large enough to hold everything a small boy empties from his pockets at the end of a day, yet small enough to cup a child's face."

And then God molded long, slim legs and broad shoulders. The angel nearly had a heart attack. "Boy, this is the end of the week, all right," she clucked. "Do you realize you just made a father without a lap? How is he going to pull a child close to him without the kid falling between his legs?" And God smiled and said, "A mother needs a lap. A father needs strong shoulders to pull a sled, balance a boy on a bicycle or hold a sleepy head on the way home from the circus."

God was in the middle of creating two of the largest feet anyone had ever seen when the angel could contain herself no longer. "That's not fair. Do you honestly think those large boats are going to dig out of bed early in the morning when the baby cries? Or walk through a small birthday party without crushing at least three of the guests?" And God smiled and said, "They'll work. You'll see. They'll support a small child who wants to ride a horse to Banbury Cross or scare off mice at the summer cabin or display shoes that will be a challenge to fill."

God worked throughout the night, giving the father few words but a firm, authoritive voice and eyes that saw everything but remained calm and tolerant. Finally, almost as an afterthought, He added tears. Then He turned to the angel and said, "Now, are you satisfied that he can love as much as a mother?"

The angel was quiet.


George said...

Thanks for sharing this. I remember reading it when Erma Bombeck was doing a daily column and it is as true and as powerful today as it was then.

Kathryn Magendie said...

Oh, how I miss Erma Bombeck!

Betsy from Tennessee said...

Beautiful, Carolyn. I do remember reading that many years ago. I always read and loved Erma Bombeck.

Perfect to post that one today.

Happy Father's Day to you all.

Ruth said...

I don't remember reading much from Erma Bombeck. Thanks for sharing this lovely piece.

Anonymous said...

That was beautiful. I remember her columns... as kids we would always see one clipped from the paper by dad or mom, placed somewhere so everyone could enjoy it. As a new one would replace the old, they would get tucked away in a drawer. They're still here, preserved in a ziplock baggie. That's a very special bag - lol. Very special day, Father's Day, and what a wonderful post to read on this special day!

Rudee said...

It's lovely.

Busy Bee Suz said...

This is so nice. I love Erma Bombeck...she is missed dearly.
I love the article in your paper about the pig/goat and your golden girls are so gorgeous...I wish I had shiny hair like them. :0

Sam said...

That is beautiful. Happy Father's day to all of the Fathers in your life.

KB said...

Thanks for posting this. Happy Father's day to all the fathers out there!

Tina said...

She was the lady wasn't she..such neat things she wrote and such great stories she told...I do remember this story..and enjoyed reading it again.
I miss her and her humor a lot!!

Kelly said...

....ohhhh....I miss Erma Bombeck so much. She was so special and talented...and funny too. She covered it all. Thank you for posting.

Mary Isabella and Kiley too! said...

I loved it...hugs...m

Donna at Mourning Dove Cottage said...

That's beautiful!

Hope you had a good weekend.


fishing guy said...

Carolyn: Very nicely posted.